Relapse Recovery

wolf

As part of my fight back from my latest relapse I am conscious of the fact that I have lots of barriers I need to learn to let go of. I have a constant battle in with my own head with Anxiety telling me all the things that could go wrong and the version of Michael who went to Japan by himself for a month in 2007. This version of Michael was able to hold back the Anxiety and try new things.
I have spent a lot of time recently reading the Dalai Lama’s book of wisdom and watching videos by motivational speakers. These videos are based around the concept of the Loan Wolf, something I have always found interesting as Wolves are pack animals. I guess that is the point of the Loan Wolf, breaking out on your own and being true to yourself instead of following the pack out of fear of being alone. Letting go of my barriers and allowing myself to be vulnerable is one of the hardest things I am going to have to learn to do. I can only count on one hand the amount of people I have let through them. Some of these people are still in my life and for that I am forever thankful. I guess that might explain why I can be an absent friend at times. I might not call or text my friends every day, however they are always in my thought’s. I also need to learn to listen to my own advice. I have lost count of the amount of times I have said to others that if somebody is worth having in your life, they will like you for who you are. This is probably the biggest barrier I need to learn to let go of.

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